It will be a year ago, Sunday, that the Lord pushed me harder than usual. It was time to step out of my comfort zone and start listening to Him once and for all on this topic. I kept whispering over and over, “I am not a writer!”
I wanted to share with you my first piece of writing. It’s raw, unpolished and copied and pasted for your reading enjoyment. I was a little angry and a little afraid.
Mother’s Day weekend 2018 – May 12, 2018
I woke up early on this cloudy Saturday morning, 6:15 to be exact. Bailey, my ever faithful companion of almost 12 years, was sitting there just staring at me. It was his usual time to get up, so I swung my feet over the bed and shuffled out of bed to let him out.
I like my quiet time in the mornings. I need my quiet time in the morning. I often get upset when I don’t my quiet time – and usually, it is because of the movements upstairs. My two teenage boys and my husband are waking up, making noise that is typical of every sensible noise. A normal woman would understand that these are just common noises – but I’m not normal. In my quiet time, with the Lord, I get cranky if I have any additional noise and cannot spend time with Him. And I am a Christian. Feel free to read that sentence again. I get cranky when I can’t have my time with the Lord. How ironic.
This morning was different. I couldn’t shake the feeling of what I think the Lord is saying. Write. Write about what? I certainly am not a Bible scholar. I can barely remember what I read. My devotions in the morning take over an hour because I have to read it a few times over. My mind wonders from “I need to get this at the grocery store” to “what am I going to wear today?” And then back to the devotion again. Write? You want me to write, Lord? Ok.
I guess maybe I was expecting this. Early this week, I decided to buy a keyboard for my iPad. Out of the blue and that is what, I am using now. No special laptop, just an iPad and keyboard. Rose-colored to be exact. I thought I could write or journal as I wait for Connor to get out of school. Writing a book was not even a thought of mine. Until this morning.
I woke up thinking of it and I did what I normally do. I blew it off. I’ve learned over the years that the Lord is a very patient God. I often sense what God is calling me to do, but I don’t do it. I wait. I struggle back and forth with it. I still hear from the Lord. He waits for me. I ignore Him. It’s a cycle that the Lord and I go through since I became a Believer. The one thing that I have learned as a Believer of over 16 years, is that He is a patient God.
Back to this morning. After my devotions and a little hissy fit with my husband – again, I’m not normal. I decided to look up where there are writers conferences at. Specifically, Christian writers conferences and I found out there is one in Nashville in September. I would have to take a few days off of work, so that’s not going work. Another excuse. I am full of excuses. And yes, I could take that time off. I was done with my devotions and off to do what every mom does on Mother’s Day weekend, laundry.
But I still had the inkling to research it more. I’m currently reading “Believe Boldly” and I started to watch a video that was live streamed in March. It was a book club and the author, Erica Willis, was going through how she came to write the book. She felt the urging from God to write when she was young and she ignored it. From there she was saying that she often ignores God – like I do – and finally she gave in a listened. Like I eventually do. And then she said something that stopped me in my tracks. She attended that “She Speaks” conference for writers. Crap. Can I say that? She was speaking on the exact same thing I was praying about this morning. A quick search on the internet and I realized it’s in the summer and in North Carolina. An 11 hour drive from home. Crap. Time to get serious.
I was mulling over this, growling at Craig and packing to go to the camper. My happy place. I decided to bring up the subject to Grant and was pretty apprehensive about it. Me write? I will never forget the words he said, “Mom, if the Lord is leading you, you should do it. Write a little bit each day and see how you like it.” Wise words from a 16 year old boy.
So, here I am, writing. Writing about random things and praying that it will all come together. Will I get published. Who knows? Is this a random fad that I will go through? It could very well be. I often get excited about things, pursue them, get bored and then find something new that excites me. The one thing that I know for sure is that it’s time to step out of my comfort zone and start listening to the Lord. ***end of writing session. 5/12/18 @3:54p
Growing and Learning
Looking back at the first entry, I could see the sense of excitement mixed with some self-doubt. I had no clue how I was going to begin sharing my writing with everyone.
“Who would want to read my blog, Lord? I’m a little boring!” I would often pray.
The Lord sent you, my faithful readers, my way.
Since that fateful day almost a year ago, I’ve met some excellent writers who are now my friends. I have grown my faith and dug deep into the Word. I have attended conferences and retreats. I have guest posted on blogs, and I have a few more opportunities coming up that I can’t wait to share with you all.
I am not sure where this whole writing thing will end up. Could it be a published book? I don’t know, but what I do know is this. If my writing inspires just one person to have a relationship with Jesus, for them to boldly proclaim that He is their Savior, then I have done my job as a writer.
Last year my goal was just to write anything.
This year, my goal is to write with purpose with one goal in mind; furthering the Kingdom of God.
Be Bold. Be Courageous. Be Fearless.
So after a year of growing into what God has always believed that I was, I am proclaiming this:
My name is Missy, and I am a writer.