It’s hard to believe that it will soon be a month since I heard my father’s voice. Even harder to believe that it will soon be 11 years since I heard my mother’s voice.
I dread the month of January.
We seldom see the sun. The darkness of the night lasts longer than daylight. Influenza and colds run rampant. And memories of loved ones passing on are brought to the forefront of my mind.
Eighteen years ago, on January 23, we lost my stepson, Sean.
Eleven years ago, on January 25, we lost my mom, Darlene.
Nine years ago, on January 25, we lost my dog, Bastian.
So much grief, in such a long, dreary month!
I Am Sorry, Dr. Klophenstein!
My poor veterinarian got more than he bargained for last week when we talked on the phone. Our dog, Bailey, has a cough that we have been trying to stop. It’s a perplexing case, as his lungs are clear, and the x-rays show no abnormalities. After discussing some possible scenarios, I spit out a trail of words reiterating what I wrote above and added in the passing with my brother and father.
I ended my barrage of words with, “I don’t care what course of action we take, I am not losing this dog this month!”
There was an awkward moment of silence before the conversation started back up.
I am happy to report that more medicine was prescribed, and Bailey is doing much better!
Special thanks to Dr. Klophenstein for not only listening to this crazy woman but for his care and concern over Bailey. Once we get everything straightened out with Bailey, I’m sure he will be relieved not to have to deal with this crazy dog mom!
His Steadfast Love Endures Forever!
As I go through this season of grief, I am overwhelmed with the responsibility of being the executor of my father’s estate. As I uncover more of my dad’s financial situation, I find myself angry at the parties responsible for this burden. Yes, my father could have stopped handing out money to them, but the evidence is starting to mount up that my father was flat out lied to.
The thought of what my father went through, both financially and mentally, breaks my heart.
As I cling to my family to find comfort, I am also clinging to the Word. In reading Psalms, I came across Psalm 118:5-6 that spoke to my heart.
In the past few weeks, I have cried out in distress to the Lord. Whether it’s questioning Him as to why this all happened, to being angry at the circumstances of the situation – the open communication line between the Lord and me has been non-stop.
My Challenge to You
The one thing that I have learned throughout these past two months is that every one of us is going through something because we live in a fallen world where pain and suffering happen. I know that what I am going through pales in comparison to what others are dealing with, so I am committed to bringing a little ray of light to others around me.
I try to smile more at others and listen intently to them. At the grocery store, when I see someone with just a few items, I let them in front of me. Please don’t misunderstand what I am saying – this is not a brag, but merely paying it forward for all the kindness that I have received throughout this season.
Today, I challenge you to be a light in someone’s world. Be kind, smile, and pray for them.
One by one, we can bring light into this dark world and conquer those January blahs!