“I am NOT going to write!”
It was the Saturday morning of this past Mother’s Day weekend. The minute I woke up, writing was on my mind – I groaned. There was no denying what the Lord was telling me: He was I calling me write.
The whispers of writing had been there for years and always I came up with every excuse I could think of not to do it.
“My boys are too young!”
“We are too busy!”
“I have nothing interesting to say!”
“I am too old to start this journey!”
The only thing different about this morning was that this wasn’t a gentle whisper, but a full-blown shove from the Lord. In my mind, shoves from the Lord equal full submission and obedience to Him. I don’t like shoves. And to be honest, I didn’t like to submit to anyone on or anything.
With my coffee in one hand and my Bible in the other, I tried to have my quiet time for the morning – only to have thoughts of writing swirl in my mind. After 20 minutes of doing everything but concentrating on Jesus, I finally decided to Google “Christian writers conferences,” and there was one in Nashville set for September. It was still just May and I had no idea what our calendar would look like in September. “Better not commit to that,” I thought to myself. I was hoping and praying that would be the end of it, but it wasn’t.
The Lord Shoves When He Loves
The shoves were still there and I knew that this was not going to end my way. I wasn’t getting anywhere with my quiet time, so I decided to watch a recorded Facebook Live video on a book I had been reading, entitled “Believe Boldly” by Erica Willis. She started off saying that for years the Lord had been prompting her to write a book and she had kept putting it off. She went on to say that she had attended the “She Speaks” conference hosted by Proverbs 31 Ministries.
“She Speaks?” I thought to myself. I quickly Googled it and my heart sank. It was in Concord, NC at the end of July and I could not come up with one excuse not to go.
Brace yourselves, because I am not proud of this – I was mad. Almost furious. Mad to the point where my family noticed that something was off. I don’t want to do this, I’m not qualified, I don’t have anything to write about; these were all lies that the enemy was feeding me. And I took the bait – hook, line and sinker.
“Mom, are you okay?” Grant, my 16 year old son, asked.
“Not really. I’m pretty sure the Lord is calling me to write and I don’t want to,” I replied.
“If the Lord is calling you to write, why are your resisting His Plan?” he asked.
I had no response to that. I was holding back the tears. The Lord had used Grant to complete His mission for me. It was then when I submitted fully to Him and accepted what I am to be – a writer.
With a shove from the Lord and support from my wonderful husband, I signed up for the “She Speaks ” conference.
It was a conference that was like no other. A conference where there was no competition or rivalry, just encouragement and prayers. A conference where it didn’t matter if you were brand new to the writing world or were an established author, everyone was treated the same. A conference were I road-tripped to North Carolina with three ladies that I only knew from Facebook, who are now my dear friends. A conference where the Lord confirmed to me over and over that I was called to be there.
The theme for my writing is to “Be Fearless.” 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” I have no fear when the Lord is by my side.
If you hear that whispering from the Lord to step out of your comfort zone and serve Him, do it! Please don’t wait until you get that big ol’ shove! Submitting to the Lord is not a bad thing. It brings us closer to Him, closer to His kingdom, and it may just lead someone to Him! I am now in the process of learning how to submit to the Lord, to my husband, to others, and as a parent.
The Lord is working mightily in me. Will I got a book deal someday? Will I be guest featured on someone else’s blog? I don’t know, but God does, and until He reveals that to me, I will submit to Him with my writing. God is in control and He always will be, it just took a shove from Him for me realize that!